The recent intense (and sometimes emotional)debate about Jade Goody choosing to live her last days (and now her death) in full view of the UK public brings a number of issues into perspective for us here in Segbwema. Is death really as sacred as we make it out to be in Africa or is it just a phase that we all have to go through – as is the attitude of Westerners? That is a question one would have to answer for ourselves – depending on our belief structures and experiences.
However for us, it’s hard to put into words the disparity we experience when we compare living in the UK with our lives here in Segbwema, and hence how we view issues of ‘life and death’. From carrying out the activities of daily living to the challenges of meeting higher needs, the differences are glaring. We have three adults helping us to do such mundane tasks as fetching water and cooking and basically keeping our home in running order. Imagine waking up in the morning, opening the tap and there is water, in fact you expect running water. At the flip of a switch there is light, at the turn of a knob the stove comes on and you can cook breakfast, or flip the switch on the kettle and there is warm water for tea. Here, every thing needs to be planned. Bro A and our dear Mama S fetching water from the pump ( making about 4 – 5 trips) allows us bath etc. If the water is not boiled on a coal stove and stored in a flask the day before, then we’ll have no water for tea in the morning. Try washing your clothes without the luxurious option of throwing them in the washing machine?
If we look at meeting the higher needs - accessing functional medical care in an emergency for example – well, that’s another challenge. We have learned having a doctor at hand is not always enough. If there are no drugs and diagnostic tools at his disposal then he’s actually working somewhat blindly and has to guess the problem from signs and symptoms. We therefore, have experienced the loss of patients in cases where the doctors were unable to diagnose in time and the patients were unable to be referred to other institutions (with more access to diagnostic tools). It’s disheartening and emotionally draining (I never spoke to, or touched the persons or tried to solve the problem – imagine the doctors and nurses). I sometimes wonder how many more silent tears we have to shed. Then I remember the blessings bestowed on people in the developed world who have access to basic health care, food – just having their basic needs met allows them the time and energy to spend on the latest fashion, music or movies, or to rant on about the best way to describe a disability (an issue or subject) without being politically incorrect, or about some simple family issue.
It brings to mind the public’s reaction to Jade Goody’s thrusting in the forefront her battle with and preparation (and eventual) death from cancer. The reactions in the UK are many but mostly of horror and disbelief that a young woman can publicise this subject. This ‘horror and disbelief’ is difficult for us to comprehend in our current context, especially when one experiences and faces death of people of all ages on nearly a daily basis. Babies, children, teenagers young and old adults, there is someone we know who have experienced this grief. It’s made worse when the death is sudden and in some cases avoidable if only there were better diagnostic tools at our disposal.
I know in this blog we try to be as positive as possible but we can’t ignore this recurring ‘theme’. It’s emotionally painful and draining, but for so many people this is reality. They survive – go on to live again – because of a strong spiritual foundation or they become numb to the pain. It’s easier to deal with the loss of a loved one if we believe they are in a better place and not suffering or lacking as they did in this life. Holding on to this bigger spiritual anchor helps us to ride the storms we inevitably experience in this life. It also calms our hearts and minds, and gives us the strength to continue the journey. I’m sorry for those who have no Anchor.
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